Having become vegan this year, I have noticed that many relatives, neighbors, co-workers, and otherwise well-meaning people in my life might now classify me as what I can only now describe as a “Food Bitch.”
This self-imposed term has become endearing to me, even empowering. It is also funny, in a self-deprecating way. I define a Food Bitch as someone who is particular, demanding, or maybe overbearing about the food they eat, ordering off-menu at restaurants, showing up at the family BBQ with their own separate meal. It started by becoming gluten-free many years ago. Becoming a bonafide Food Bitch compliments my extensive collection of other non-mainstream activities and habits. I have decided to just own it and have fun with it.
But it is important to distinguish myself from a Food Nazi. The intolerance of others’ choices should clue you in to the difference. Food Nazis just won’t leave it alone. They have to convince everyone to shop, cook, eat and think the same way they do. A Vegan Food Nazi wouldn't just suggest you try their lentil loaf; they'd confiscate your burger and lecture you on the ethical implications. I strive not to be a Food Nazi because I am not really that interested in pushing my choices on others. The world has enough dogmatism as it is. If you are a carnivore, relax, I am not the evangelical kind.
But I am not sure I always feel the same “live and let live” vibe coming back towards me from the bacon-worshippers in my life. I have conversed with a few meat eaters who are as intolerant as some militant vegans. I have decided not to worry about what other people eat or what they think of my plate. If a Carnivorous Food Nazi ends up around my table (or whatever their proclivities) and lashes out at me with mockery or worse, I will peacefully resist this kind of intolerance.
But sometimes well-meaning comments and questions do reveal subtle fears or societal judgments. “What about protein?” someone recently asked me at the dinner table last month, an innocent enough question. Rather than get into this too deep I paused, thinking of a careful response.
“I’m not worried about protein,” I responded simply. The topic was dropped. It’s a similar undercurrent to the peer pressure a sober person feels at a gathering where alcohol is being served. Assumptions can be a dangerous thing.
It's easy for people to make assumptions about someone's reasons or attitudes when it comes to their choices of food and drink. People tend to pigeonhole others. Maybe that’s just the Gen-X in me coming out, but me being a plant eater is not a personal attack on someone else or their food choices. It is just me being a plant eater. Deal with it, or better yet, thank me for my lighter carbon footprint on the planet. That might sound uncaring, or disengaged, but it comes from genuine concern for our environment and having experienced the real-time personal struggle to be free from other addictions. It’s the old saying, “You can lead a horse to water.” Really the only person we can change is ourselves.
What society has considered a “good diet” has changed dramatically over the past decades. Remember the four food group posters? Or the food pyramid with all the carbs at the bottom? (Take a trip back in time to see the historical progression of dietary recommendations.) Or when 'low-fat' on the label actually meant 'packed with sugar’? My body still has trust issues from the 90s and my pantry looks like a food fad graveyard. New scientific discoveries about diet and the human body, environmental factors, and causes of disease will forever continue to be made.
As new information becomes available, new guidelines emerge from the “experts” and new groups of people go blind bandwagon-jumping. But the reality is that everything we consume costs the planet something in resources. If goji berries become one of four food groups, we have to figure out how to harvest them sustainably for 8 billion people. It makes me want to increase my backyard food gardening even more, like the victory gardens. But, that is the very real problem we have right now with livestock grazing for meat and dairy products. I've chosen to embrace the 'Food Bitch' label, not as a demanding zealot, but as an advocate for personal autonomy in a world quick to judge, while recognizing the profound impact our individual food choices have on ourselves and the planet.
When I was fifteen years old, I wanted to become vegetarian after reading Diet for a New America by John Robbins. I was eating a typical diet for a 15-year-old American girl, Cheetos and Coke, hamburgers and fries, lots of sweets, an occasional piece of fruit. Robbins gave all the science, economics, politics, and the reasoning I needed to understand why I wanted to do my part, but I had zero skill or experience and no ability to purchase food for myself at that time, plus a lack of support. It turns out that good intentions are no match for deeply ingrained habits. I was “led to the water” by Robbins, but desire for social acceptance and overcoming habis were big barriers to overcome.
To get the horse to drink, I had to experiment with trying different ways of eating over many years, as I grew in maturity and understanding. I had to learn my own body system, what it tolerates well and what it doesn’t. Once you accept that one person’s body can be unique and have different needs than another’s, you stop caring so much about what other people are doing or what they think, including those well-meaning family members. You can finally stop letting others dictate what's best for your plate. Then you are on your way to getting your own eating habits and your own horse under control. Liberation, baby!
Some people are of the mind that life is short and since we’re all going to die anyway, why not eat steak, ice cream, and extra piece of pie? Why not just enjoy life and be happy, right? I certainly lived this way for a long time and agree with it to some extent. No one is getting out of here alive, so we may as well have our fun. Maybe we can be happier if we just enjoy all the good in life. However, eventually bodies and planets can only go so long without healthy habits before the consequences creep in. The problem is, we just have too much alluring food that’s bad for us, too many harmful choices and the added social stigma or social pressure to conform to the norm adds to this. Even though better choices are available, we are so addicted to the bad ones that we are destroying ourselves and the planet. We are just not consuming what would truly make us healthier and the societal systems are not supporting changes that need to be made individually and collectively. Since we have known about all of this for a long time, and things are not getting better on their own, we need to take responsibility.
I really think if we just concern ourselves with the one person we truly have control over, it will make a huge difference. Food habits are tough to break, but much like any addiction, compassion, education, and support can go a long way towards healing. If people understand what humanity is truly giving up on an environmental scale to keep eating the way we are, and then maybe some might consider taking personal environmental responsibility before it is too late.
So, let’s get real. It’s like the saying, “It’s the economy, stupid.” We're being bombarded by industries that profit from our ill-health and a deteriorating environment. Yet, when we strip away the noise—the societal judgments, the well-meaning questions, and the assumptions—a simple, undeniable truth remains: It's the food, bitch! Our collective food choices drive significant environmental degradation, exacerbate the climate crisis, and contribute to widespread health problems. While it's easy to point fingers at governments and corporations, there's great potential in personal accountability. So, as I navigate what's on my own plate, I just urge those around me to think critically. Don't worry so much about being perceived as a Food Bitch as I did; instead, embrace the freedom to make choices that align with your own values, and extend that same courtesy and freedom to others.